Authentically Reconnecting with One Another
We are human, we want to connect with others, we crave relationships, but what happens when the hurts get in the way of the connections? When the anger wraps up our vulnerability in a shell of protection? What happens when it’s hard?
Well the truth is that relationships are hard. Every relationship. We are wired for connection but then at the same time our humanness, past experiences and the often unhealed wounds are being held by the parts of ourselves that continue to show up and make sure we are not hurt again. We pull back. We hurt back. We don’t let ourselves really be seen. We hide and withdraw. We show up with only a small part of what is going on and not with the truth of what is behind the scenes of our hearts.
In couples therapy, the relationship becomes my client as we navigate through the reason the two of you are considering therapy. We will take the time to look at what is behind the scenes for each of you. We will hold and honor your relationship while also holding and honoring each of your truths and feelings. We will start to peel back and the protective layers and see where you are.
This is not about the laundry or the dishes, or work, or friends or Facebook or the kids. We will not be going through each fight or disagreement. It’s not even about some other man or women your partner did or didn’t do something with. This is about disconnection. This is about attachment wounds. This is about needing something to be different but not knowing how to say it, how to receive it, how to see each other, how to hear each other. This is about how the other person is pulling off every bandaid to every past hurt you have felt. How they are showing up in a way that opens up your feelings of being lost, like you don’t belong, betrayed in some way, hurt, and not good enough.
The repair is where you really get to know someone, It’s where you really get to know yourself. The repair is where vulnerability can show up. Repair is what Love is all about, no matter if you are repairing your relationship or your own internal relationship within yourself.
Together we hold that space and connect within first, then you begin to hold yourself as you reconnect within your relationship. Together we can see if we can create a space for a healthy relationship to live in, or if it’s time to begin the process of knowing that maybe your relationship is ready to transition to something else. Either way it is my guess that as you work through the pain found in your relationship Love will show up, even if it a greater love for yourself.
